Filming SHUSH SHUSH SWEET SCHATZI in Morningside Park, New York City, April 3, 2004. Photo by Trish Naudon.
LESION MOVIES AND TRAILERS
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(2010) A Lesion fan's face is disfigured with acid. Can a baboon's rump skin graft save his dignity? Find out in this chilling Lesion Halloween yarn starring Piss Promise and Dr. Hurtz. Features a very special appearance by Mr. pod! GUEST STARS: Adam Hurwitz, Cassie J. Sneider and Paris Mancini.
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the movie! |
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(2009) Piss and Gustave pull some Halloween "mischief" on the rest of the band after discovering a black market app on the Doctor's iPhone. The bloodiest movie in LESION history! GUEST STARS: Adam Hurwitz and Joe Porletto.
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the movie! |
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(2008) After patronizing a magical glory hole, Piss switches personalities with his evil parallel-universe twin. Meanwhile, Dr. Hurtz has (another) mid-life crisis, American Art takes dance lessons and Venison “drops” his long-awaited hip-hop record. In a word: epic. GUEST STARS: Toni DeBuono, Christina Ewald, Kevin Roberts and Joe Vincent.
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the trailer! |
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(2007) Ben Franklin’s “crazy Halloween voodoo” zaps colonial bass impresario American Art 230 years
into the future, just in time for LESION to rock the ass off Halloween. WARNING: This film contains fops.
GUEST STARS: Bruno Blumenfeld, Jacob Henderson, Adam Hurwitz, and Mick Stingley.
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the trailer! |
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(2006) Teaser trailer for The One Inch Punch made in early summer 2006. Features absolutely no scenes or dialogue from the finished movie.
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the trailer! |
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(2005) “Shout ZOMBIE-PUSS at the top of your lungs!” Piss Promise’s “chemically-infused” blood
reanimates a dead groupie. Now she’s walking the earth, doing the things all teens do: getting autographs
and gorging on human flesh! GUEST STAR: Meredith Mitten Andrews.
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the trailer! |
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(2004) Finally, a Halloween movie about vampires. When LESION’s tour van breaks down in the backwoods,
the band is forced to spend a night at the home of blood-sucking antiques-dealer Mister Mofungo. GUEST STARS: Joe Porletto, Kate Wallander, and Kate Dwyer.
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the trailer! |
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(2004) Skinny-dipping Mr. Pod drowns at the beach, then watches his life flash before his eyes. Film features bare ass not suitable for children (or seniors, or the squeamish). GUEST STAR: comedian Judy Gold as Mr. Pod's mother.
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the trailer! |
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(2004) Dr. Hurtz’s inflated ego deep-sixes his opportunity to become the spokesperson for a new lifestyle cologne. GUEST STARS: Jim Wisniewski and Greg Jackson.
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the trailer! |
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(2004) Emperor Fussicus (Dr. Hurtz) seeks help with his impotence problem from Rome’s greatest lover, Marcus Podicus (Mr. Pod) in this romping widescreen fifth century sex-epic. GUEST STAR: Julia Rogers as Empress Grusilla.
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the trailer! |
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(2004) In a desperate ploy to sell CDs, Venison is tricked by the rest of the band into having a sex-change operation in this bittersweet hats-off to gender-ambiguity. GUEST STAR: Lenny Williams as Lady Venison.
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the trailer! |
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(2004) Piss smokes the world’s most powerful weed, then hears the voice of God commanding him to turn LESION into a Christian rock band. Features music video for He is The Rock by German church-rockers LESSON. GUEST STAR: Zoe Schneider as Moonjava.
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the trailer! |
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(2002) Dim-witted super-patriot George W. Bush reluctantly gives Mrs. Santa Claus the go-ahead to have
Santa lobotomized. Now it’s up to LESION to perform the operation, save Christmas, and rock the yuletide.
GUEST STARS: Julia Rogers and Jim Wisniewski.
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the trailer! |
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(2002) Mr. Pod finally ties the knot, only to discover that marriage is a deadly bore. GUEST STARS: Diana Henry as Cheryl
and Owen Comaskey as Richard Balty.
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the trailer! |
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(2002) After overdosing on anti-depressants, Venison goes on a terrifying, hallucinogenic "freak-out." GUEST STAR: Adam Hurwitz as Dr. Shove.
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(2002) When The Antiques Road Show tells Piss that Napoleon’s penis will make him invincible, he decides to smoke it. Then he dies. Will the Angel of Death cut a deal to let him live again? GUEST STARS: Tom Cardamone as Death and Zoe Schneider as Fatima.
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the trailer! |
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(2002) Dr. Hurtz overdoes it at karaoke and loses his voice. Then he loses his job. GUEST STARS: Jim Wisniewski as Fred, David Hollander as Dr. Grip and Pete Kress as Lord Coca Log.
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(2002) Flaccid record sales force Dr. Hurtz to get a facelift. Meanwhile, Piss is kidnapped and tortured by an obsessive
groupie. This film took home awards for Best Narrative Under 30 Minutes and Best Screenplay at the 2002 Arlene Grocery Picture Show. GUEST STAR: Joe Lazenby as Musho.
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the trailer! |
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(2001) Piss Promise wins Guitarist of the Year Award, only to be shot in the stomach by a band mate. Will he ever be well enough to rock again? Don’t look for the answer in this movie, you won’t find it. GUEST STAR: Cristina Pronzati as evil Nurse Üta.
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the trailer! |
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